What to pack in your hospital bag for a relaxed, natural birth.

In August 2014, the Yahoo Contributor Network was shut down. All the copyrights to articles thereon were returned to their authors, so I decided to publish certain articles of mine, originally written for Yahoo UK on my own blogs. This is one of them.

Towards the end of pregnancy, as it becomes the focus of the nesting instinct, one bag and its contents never held such importance. What will you need? What is a waste of space?

If you are planning a home birth it is useful to have a bag with all the things you might need during and immediately after the birth. Everything is then in one place should you need someone else to find it for you, and if you do have to transfer into hospital, you won't have to pack a bag during labour, or rely on someone else to - and inevitably end up with the wrong pyjamas.

Pyjamas aside though, hospitals are alien environments, and your bag can become your own little slice of home. This is why they are so important to us.

Birthing women naturally seek out that which is comfortable and familiar. Feeling safe and secure is vital for the physiological progress of birth. Oxytocin, the hormone that drives contractions, is released more freely, and birth progresses more smoothly, when a woman's basic nesting urges are respected.

So how can we honour this is a hospital environment?

Lighting - Hospital lighting tends to be bright and flat, perfect for medics who need to see well to do their job. Counter-productive to labouring women, as oxytocin production is inhibited in bright environments. Some hospitals have lights that dim, if yours doesn't, take a small lamp with you. Even a bright desk lamp (a small one will pack down well) can be draped with a muslin to diffuse the light. Battery operated tea lights can also be used to great effect. Then turn off the main lights and relax.

Music - If you enjoy relaxing to music, take a small player and a collection of your favourites with you. If you are using hypnotherapy, it may even be possible to buy the background music from your hypnotherapy CD to help transport you back to that peaceful mindset. Moving around is great in early labour. Dance the baby down into your pelvis, stomp out the discomfort of your contractions. Don't just stick to gentle music, take something you will find entertaining and uplifting too.

Aromatherapy - Hospitals can smell strange, antiseptic and generally unhomely. Aromatherapy for birth is a huge topic, but even the most basic blends can be very beneficial. Clary Sage is excellent for promoting the progress of your labour, and breathed deeply during contractions provides some pain relief. Lavender is good for relaxing. The best vector for aromatherapy in birth is a flannel, or sponge, dipped into a small bowl of water with a few drops of the oil. This is easily removed if you suddenly decide you no longer like the scent.

Pillows - Useful for birth, and for nursing afterwards, there is nothing more comforting than your own pillows or bean bags. Use them to keep you in a comfortable, upright position if you tire during labour. Remaining upright helps the baby descend into the pelvis and promotes contractions. Sitting on a birth ball, or the edge of a chair, leaning forwards onto a pile of cushions, is restful without slowing your labour.

A massage ball - Lower back massage can give great relief in labour. A small hand held massage tool can turn any birth partner into an expert masseur.

Food - If you are planning on a natural birth, you will be able to sustain yourself through labour by snacking regularly, although some interventions will require you to stop solids in case you need an anaesthetic. You may not feel like eating for a period when labour is very intense. Regardless, once the baby arrives you will be ravenous, and hospital catering rarely hits the spot! Take a range of foods, as you cannot be sure what you will fancy. Oat based snacks like flapjack are great for slow-release energy, fruit or smoothies can be refreshing. It's good to have some drinks you enjoy too, or a bottle of squash to flavour your water.

There is also a point in labour when women often find themselves needing a last burst of energy before they start to push. Chocolate, or spoon-fed honey are commonly used here, but as a doula I once supported a woman who dosed up on jelly beans!

Your birth plan - Your plan is a written statement of your preferences in terms of your treatment. If you are planning a natural birth it is likely that some of these preferences with be different to the hospital's default policy. It may be the case that your health care professionals do not read it, however, should you not be in a state of mind to discuss your treatment your birth partner can point to your birth plan and advocate for you with authority.

These basic ideas will get you started, but remember, as the mum to be, you have the right to choose the circumstances of your birth. Anything that makes you, as an individual, feel safe, relaxed and loved will be valuable, even your favourite pyjamas.

How sleeping with my baby saved my sleep

In August 2014, the Yahoo Contributor Network was shut down. All the copyrights to articles thereon were returned to their authors, so I decided to publish certain articles of mine, originally written for Yahoo UK on my own blogs. This is one of them.

It was 2am and I was desperate. It was my first night home with my newborn son, three days after he was born by emergency caesarean section. My milk still had not come in, delayed most likely by the trauma of the surgery and the side effects of the painkillers. He would not stop feeding.

I knew that this was normal, I knew that he was topping up his marble-sized belly with rich colostrum, whilst triggering the production of the milk that eventually came nearly a day later. This was small comfort when I was exhausted. Every time he stirred, rooting around in his Moses basket, looking for me, I woke, rolled myself out of bed, tentatively, flinching at the pain in my fresh scar, picked him up, lay him on my mattress, and nursed him until he fell asleep; whereupon I dutifully, gently returned him to his little bed.

Over and over. Every hour, or even less.

I rang the midwives on duty at the hospital, and I am forever grateful that my call was answered by an individual who was willing to give me advice that many will not. "Let him sleep with you". That's it. That simple.

A few weeks earlier I would never have done it. My husband had joked that the baby would sleep in our bed. I told him no, no way, it's not safe.

When I was discharged from hospital I had been issued with, amongst several trees-worth of leaflets, a copy of the UNICEF safe sleeping guidelines . In reality sharing a bed with your baby is safe as long as certain precautions are taken. A breastfeeding mother, who naturally will sleep lightly, no drink or drugs, no heavy bedding, no way for baby to fall out or get trapped, no other children. With the advice and support of my midwives, I accepted that this was the best choice for us. When I later did more research, I was astounded at how far my preconceptions were from the truth. Evidence suggests that this is a safe choice and in some cases even a preferable one.

So that night I brought my new son into my bed. I fed him lying down, and dozed, when he finished he would roll onto his back to sleep. When he was hungry again he would snuffle around until I helped him latch on in my half sleep. I would not need to leave my bed and painfully lift him out of his moses basket, I would not even need to wake up completely. I found myself, as controlled studies have also demonstrated, checking on his temperature and breathing instinctively, without being fully conscious.

My first child did not sleep through the night until he was 18 months old. This was never a problem, he was right beside me in bed, all I ever had to do was nurse him, or cuddle him and he would settle back to sleep without either of us fully waking. Once he was sleeping through, we introduced him to his own bed, in his own room, which he thought was a great adventure. I missed his little snoring body next to me at night, so did my husband, but not for long, because just a couple of months later, his baby brother was born.

When I was expecting my second child, I did not make up the Moses basket. I did not assemble the cot. I knew that from the outset both of us would sleep better, and be happier if he was in bed with me, so once again, I made the bed baby-safe in readiness.

My second baby slept in my bed from his first day, in the hospital I refused to have him in the plastic tank, ringing the bell for someone to pass him to me every time he needed me. He lay curled up against me, resting peacefully. I discharged myself after one night because it was the hospital staff that were disturbing my sleep.

This time around, the midwife who discharged me made it clear that it was their policy to advise against bed sharing under any circumstances. But I knew baby number two would be sleeping with me.

5 myths about cloth nappies debunked

In August 2014, the Yahoo Contributor Network was shut down. All the copyrights to articles thereon were returned to their authors, so I decided to publish certain articles of mine, originally written for Yahoo UK on my own blogs. This is one of them.

With two children born within two years of each other, I have done thousands of nappy changes and experimented with a variety of nappy types and brands. My preferred nappies are cloth, which is often regarded as the eccentric preserve of masochistic hippies. Many of the assumptions made about cloth nappies are, in my experience, wildly inaccurate. So let's take a look at some common misconceptions.

1. Cloth nappies are tricky to use

For many people, the idea of cloth nappies brings to mind the old fashioned terry squares, with giant pins and noisy, thick plastic overpants. Most modern styles fit much like a disposable, fastening with poppers or velcro. Some systems involve a waterproof outer, or wrap, over an absorbent nappy; others are just one piece.

Folded nappies are now usually fastened with plastic "nappy nippers" rather than tricky pins. The waterproof wraps are now made of PU, they are soft, fine and barely rustle at all! They also come in a huge range of attractive colours and designs. I often think it is a shame that my baby's nappy is hidden under his clothes, and I always feel particularly organised if it matches his outfit!

2. Cloth nappies are expensive

The initial outlay for cloth nappies can seem like a lot of money. Typically a new birth to potty set will cost £200-300. Crunch the numbers on disposables however and the cheapest option works out at around £800 for just the first 2 years. That's without factoring in the cost of wipes, nappy bags, and other accessories like bins. If you are planning on having more than one child, there is no need to buy more cloth nappies after the first - you just keep saving.

There are ways to save money on your cloth nappy stash too. Many councils have a "Real Nappy Incentive Scheme" which often means you can apply for vouchers to pay for nappies, or nappy laundering services.

You can also buy cloth nappies second hand in very good condition. If you really keep an eye on online auctions and baby sales, you can even buy unused sets, or seconds very cheaply. There are cheaper options for new nappies too, I recently bought some pocket nappies for under £3 each.

There is a cost to laundering the nappies, especially if you tumble dry them, but even then, you will still be saving.

3. Cloth nappies are hard work to wash and dry

It is true that cloth nappies involve a little more work, you cannot simply bag them up and throw them in the bin.

Nappies are usually stored in a dry pail. Solids are flushed down the toilet (perhaps in a flushable nappy liner) and the nappies are kept in a sealed bucket until they are washed. There is no soaking, no sterilising and no bags of faeces hanging around until bin day.

It's true that there is quite a lot of washing; but let me break this to you now, as a parent of an infant, you will be doing a lot of washing. With the spit-up giving way to food and finger paints, it is relentless, an extra load of nappies here and there barely registers. In my experience disposable nappies also leak far more than a cloth nappy and wrap, and that means more clothes and bedsheets to wash. With a newborn and 20 nappies, I found I was washing them every other day, but at a year this dropped down to around twice a week.

Nappies dry beautifully on the line in dry weather, and the sun bleaches out any stains, but even in the winter they can be dried on an airer in front of a radiator in a few hours.

4. Cloth nappies are uncomfortable

It has to be said that even the modern, ergonomic nappy designs are quite bulky. Disposable nappies are often marketed as being thin, light and not restricting movement. We must be careful of making judgments for babies based on adult comfort standards. Some interesting studies have shown cloth nappied babies to be less prone to hip dysplasia, their growing joints supported by the fabric of the nappy. With all that bum-shuffling and unexpected sitting down, perhaps babies appreciate a bit more padding.

Microfibre and fleece make cloth nappies quite dry on the bottom too. Although it is said that the "feedback" from a cloth nappy is useful in potty training.

5. Cloth nappies are inconvenient for travelling

Cloth nappies are a bit bulky to carry around when you are out and about. You will need a wet bag for used ones too. Mums who prefer cloth nappies usually adapt to this with a slightly larger change bag.

What is a bit trickier is going away for more than a few hours. Travelling with a baby can be quite a trial, without trying to fit in laundry, or carrying a sackful of used nappies.

Even if you feel you need to switch to disposables for a weekend away, or just for a day's shopping, this will not negate the huge financial and environmental benefits of using cloth nappies the rest of the time.

Best gifts for newborns

In August 2014, the Yahoo Contributor Network was shut down. All the copyrights to articles thereon were returned to their authors, so I decided to publish certain articles of mine, originally written for Yahoo UK on my own blogs. This is one of them.

There is almost nothing sweeter than the tiny, soft-to-touch toys often given as gifts to newborn babies. It is a natural gift to gravitate towards, but what can we give babies that is a little more original, and a little more relevant to their needs and interests?

Often these gifts are more about the adults than the baby, who will not develop the interest or ability to play with toys for several weeks, and even then will be far more interesting in brightly coloured, noisy, chewable items than pastel teddy bears.

What a newborn baby does need however, is its mother. I shall explain why.

Human babies are, compared to other primates, born quite prematurely. Our enormous brains mean we have to escape the womb while we still can, and newborn babies are really not developmentally ready for the world. In fact, they are more like kangaroo babies, like kangaroos, humans practice "exogestation", we finish growing our foetuses, outside the body.

For this reason newborns instinctively know that they are safest when they can feel, smell and hear their mother close by. Their physiological and psychological development is centred around gazing at her face, feeling her heartbeat and breathing, and suckling.

So how can we use this information to help us choose gifts for a newborn?

A good baby carrier allows the baby to be close to the comforting warmth, sounds and smells of their mother's body. The best ones have no fabric between the mother and baby, so allow skin to skin contact. They should support the baby's bottom and hips, facing in towards the mother's body. A stretchy soft wrap carrier is an affordable option. The baby, positioned on the mother's chest, is the ideal focal distance to gaze at her face, which is all the entertainment baby needs between naps in the early days.

A plump nursing cushion. Whether the baby is breastfed or formula fed, a comfortable nursing cushion will support them at the best position for watching their mother as they feed, close to her body.

Sometimes a new mum needs to spend a little time away from her newborn. During these times a cloth comforter can be very helpful. There are a wide range of these on the market, including ones with built in music and heartbeat sounds! A soft cloth, perhaps with tags or different textures is great, but most important is that it smells like mum.

What a newborn wants most in the world is time in their mother's arms, but there are so many things that pull new mothers away from spending time with their babies. To give the gift of time with their mother, we can relieve the mother of some of her responsibilities.

A postnatal doula is a professional, who is usually a mother herself, and will support families through the newborn period. Most will prepare meals, help care for other children and do a little housework or laundry. All of this means that the new mother can spend time with her child, guilt and stress free. Many doulas offer gift vouchers which make an excellent newborn present.

All of these gifts will keep a newborn happy, secure and entertained, they might not be the most typical baby shower gifts, but I know they will be appreciated by mother and baby.

Balancing the obligations of being a mother and a doula

In August 2014, the Yahoo Contributor Network was shut down. All the copyrights to articles thereon were returned to their authors, so I decided to publish certain articles of mine, originally written for Yahoo UK on my own blogs. This is one of them.

"This will be you next," said the midwife. I paused for a second, slightly confused. I was crouched on the sofa in my client's living room, holding her foot and whispering words of encouragement while she brought her baby into the world. I was also 28 weeks pregnant, with a nearly-two year old at home; but at that moment, I was just a doula, a humble servant to the needs of a woman bringing life into the world. There is no room for both, I had left myself outside the door.

This is how it is in my profession. There is no room for ego, there is no opportunity to be tired. Meals are a low priority, that toilet break will just have to wait. When a woman is in labour, everything else is secondary, I am there to serve, from the moment she calls until she no longer needs me.

As a mother to young children, much of the same applies. When your children are your most important priority, how can you afford the same privilege for your client?

The answer lies in your own support. In order to "let go" and focus on her client, the doula must know that her children are in good hands. While the doula is on call 24 hours a day for around four weeks, her childcare must be too. This often means having several options; one relay and an organisational chart to help her remember who she needs to call at 3am on a Thursday. As a mother employing a doula, it may be useful to discuss her arrangements with her, for your peace of mind. I never trouble my clients with issues that need not affect them, but always disclose any that might.

Postnatal doulas provide support for mothers with newborns. We make sandwiches, help around the house and provide a shoulder to lean on. Many mothers find it really useful to have someone visiting regularly in the first few weeks and months. Paying for a postnatal doula is an excellent gift from far-flung family members to a new mum they are unable to support themselves.

I find postnatal doula work much easier to fit into my family life, as it is predictable and easy to plan around childcare arrangements. I love spending time with new mums, and it is a pleasure to be able to help them, although sometimes I think I could do with my own doula!

One family I was working with had a little boy the same age as my own. On days when my work was to be focussed around taking care of the older child, my child could come with me and they played together. This doesn't always work well, it blurs the lines between the obligations of a mother and a doula, so it is really important for a doula and client to keep an open dialogue and be prepared to alter their arrangements to best serve the client's family.

Birth doula work is more of a challenge. Doulas form a close relationship with our clients, so it is usual that we have advanced warning that a woman might be going into labour; but there is always the chance that it might come out of the blue. I spend my on-call weeks never out of arm's reach of the phone, and always conscious of who I need to call myself when the time comes.

The birth went well. I left the client's house elated; it was gone midnight. Mother, father and baby were cuddled up on the sofa drinking champagne. As I closed the door behind me, I realised how very, very tired I was. I drove home, crawled into bed and wrapped my arms around my sleeping child. Attending a birth is so very rewarding, but there is nothing quite like coming back and being Mummy again.

Gender disappointment, when the baby you are expecting is not what you were expecting.

In August 2014, the Yahoo Contributor Network was shut down. All the copyrights to articles thereon were returned to their authors, so I decided to publish certain articles of mine, originally written for Yahoo UK on my own blogs. This is one of them.  

One of the big decisions in pregnancy is whether or not to find out the sex of your baby before they are born. For me this was an easy choice, I'm no good at surprises, and I hated the idea that the

sonographer might know when I did not.

In my first pregnancy, I had no real preference or strong predictions about my baby's sex. I had always wanted a daughter, but after getting to know some of the little boys of my friends and family, I would have been grateful for either. As it turned out, he was a boy, he grew, he was born, and I loved being his mummy.

When I was pregnant with our second child, I, along with everyone else I knew, was convinced I was expecting a girl. Absolutely beyond doubt. I had girl's names picked out, I even bought a little dress in the sales as it was so unusual and completely to my taste.

At 20 weeks we went along to our scan. "Would you like me to take a guess at the gender?" asked the sonographer, we agreed, and in a fairly non-committal way, she informed us that it was probably a boy.

I was stunned. Completely taken aback. She might as well have said he was a giraffe, I had been so sure. I actually booked a private gender scan a few weeks later, just to check. He was most definitely a boy, the sonography clinic even gave me a close-up photo to prove the point.

It has to be said that I grieved the "loss" of the little girl I had convinced myself I was carrying. It took a while for me to come around to the idea that this little being I was falling in love with was not quite what I had thought he was. I also felt guilty, as if I had let him down, by hoping he was something he was not, and for feeling disappointed in what he was. We had to start looking at boy's names, and referring to him as "he". It is for this reason that I am very glad we chose to find out the gender at the scan. It was a confusing time, and I am grateful we were not trying to come to terms with this "change" after he was born.

I looked at the positive side of having a boy. All of my first son's clothes had been put aside for the future. All of them, not just the unisex babygrows, would be suitable hand-me-downs for his baby brother (though I am sure any daughter of mine would end up wearing dinosaurs and robots anyway). So I lost out on some retail therapy, but it has saved me a fortune, and will continue to do so for years to come.

My eldest has the perfect playmate. Of course brothers and sisters can play together, but already the bond between my two boys is exceptional, I expect they will be best friends for a long time. I also looked at the 3D scan photos taken at our private scan. His sweet little face looked a lot like his brother. I reasserted that this was the same child I had loved when he was two blue lines on a stick.

When he arrived he was just perfect. He was not what we expected, but that is part of the charm. Like the birthday gift you never asked for, never expected and never knew you wanted. Every day I delight in learning new things about him.

So now I have a houseful of little boys. Yes, there are only two of them, but it feels like the house is full of shouting, wrestling, cars and bricks. Over time I have become comfortable with the idea that this is my family, and it feels right. If my fairy godmother offered to swap my youngest (or indeed my eldest) for a daughter, exactly as I imagined she might be, I would have to decline. They are mine, and I love them just as they are.

As with any mother of multiple children of the same gender, I am constantly asked if I am going to "try for a girl". There is a part of me that would still very much like one, but there is no guarantee that if I fell pregnant again, it would be a girl. Even less that it would be a girl that lived up to my expectations of mothering a daughter. If we do decide to grow our family it will be because we want another individual to love and raise, and we will be ready to accept whatever kind of baby fate sends us.

Using sign language with your baby

In August 2014, the Yahoo Contributor Network was shut down. All the copyrights to articles thereon were returned to their authors, so I decided to publish certain articles of mine, originally written for Yahoo UK on my own blogs. This is one of them.

Every mother knows that babies don't communicate by crying. Crying is what they do when they become frustrated that they are not being responded to. Babies communicate through body language, right from the very start. When we know our babies well enough, we read their subtle gestures, and we understand what they need.

For me, learning to sign with my babies was the obvious next step. At a certain age, babies start to mimic our gestures to communicate with us; they learn to hold their arms up for a cuddle, or to wave back when we are saying goodbye, why not extend this to improve the communication between my child and his caregivers?

I began baby signing at a local class that combined signing with singing a combination of popular nursery rhymes and songs adapted to use the most common signs. It was one of those slightly awkward gatherings of sleep deprived mothers bewilderedly singing to their disinterested and slightly confused charges.

Enthused by the endorsements of other mothers, I sought out the Makaton Society (Makaton is the simplified sign language used in baby signing or with children and adults with speech and language difficulties), and used their resources to learn more. At home the lessons really started to work. My son started using his favourite signs to let us know what he needed. His first and favourite sign was "milk"; but "more", "again", "sleep", "thank you" and a variety of animals featured too.

He continued to do sign until he could talk, after that he only used his absolute favourites, like "fish" alongside the words.

Tips for using sign language with your baby

Start early. Babies as young as 8 months can use simple signs.

Be consistent. Always use the signs with the words, whenever the right context arises. Your baby will learn to associate the sign with your words and actions, but they need to see it frequently.

Make your signs clear. Always sign in the same way and make sure your baby sees it.

Always respond to your baby's signs. They will start out a bit indistinct, so watch out for them. If you are not sure if they used a sign or not, reflect it back to them: "Did you say you wanted some milk?" and give the correct sign. Get all their caregivers on board. It really helps if everyone that looks after your baby signs with them. Many nurseries use signing as a matter of course, and it's worth looking for one where they will use and pay attention to baby signing. 

Pre-schoolers thrive when their caregivers are responsive to their needs; if your child can communicate their needs with signs, it makes sense to make sure they are looked after by people who will understand. Make sure your childcare professionals are aware of your child's signing idiosyncrasies. My eldest son often made the sign for milk with one hand, above his head - he was reaching up to make sure the adults could see it. One day I picked him up from nursery and he started signing wildly at me. His key worker asked what it was, he had been doing it all afternoon. Although the staff were trained in Makaton (the simplified sign language used in baby signing), they failed to recognise his take on the sign.

Signing made an enormously positive impact on my relationship with my children. It was very clear to me that they understood more than they were able to express, and signing allowed them to share their needs and interest with us, long before they were able to speak. Even if a baby only learns a couple of signs, it is well worth trying.

How hypnobirthing helped with my birth fears

In August 2014, the Yahoo Contributor Network was shut down. All the copyrights to articles thereon were returned to their authors, so I decided to publish certain articles of mine, originally written for Yahoo UK on my own blogs. This is one of them.

When I was expecting my children people often asked if I was afraid of giving birth. My surprising answer was "No, not at all." I practiced hypnotherapy in my pregnancy in the hope of an easier birth, without the side effects of drug-based pain relief. 

If reports are to be believed, I am in good company. Kate Middleton is said to be planning to use hypnobirthing techniques when she gives birth to the royal heir. This should not be such a surprise when we consider that the Queen herself had four home births, which by necessity, involves only natural pain relief.

Reported as "self-hypnosis", hypnobirthing is often regarded as being a 'bit weird' or complicated, but actually it is a very simple way of relaxing and maintaining a positive attitude.

Oxytocin, the hormone that makes birth progress and acts as a natural painkiller in the brain, is only released when we feel safe and loved. Adrenaline, released when we feel anxious or fearful, inhibits oxytocin, slowing labour and increasing the perception of pain. In my work as a doula, I help mothers-to-be to feel safe and supported through their labour in a number of ways. I have witnessed the effectiveness of hypnotherapy as women tackle even the toughest parts of their labour with calm confidence.

My hypnotherapy consisted of a session with a qualified therapist, and follow up using recordings on a CD. In the session with the live hypnotherapist, we used relaxation techniques and imagined a calm, peaceful place where I could go in my imagination, when labour became tough or tiring. We also put in place certain phrases that my birth partner could use to remind me of this place, and help me regain the same deep relaxation. The CD I used reinforced this, and told the tale of a positive birth experience, so that when it came to my real labour, I would feel like I had already practiced it.

After a few sessions with my CD, I not only was no longer afraid of giving birth, I could not actually recall ever having been.

I did not have the natural births I planned. Some people use cases like this to discount the effectiveness of natural birth choices. This is a gross misunderstanding. I laboured at home, beyond hours and into days, both times; for the most part, it was a calm, positive experience. I am convinced hypnobirthing helped me to prepare and make the best of my very difficult labours. I wish Kate a gentle, relaxed birth experience.

How I fell in love with babywearing

In August 2014, the Yahoo Contributor Network was shut down. All the copyrights to articles thereon were returned to their authors, so I decided to publish certain articles of mine, originally written for Yahoo UK on my own blogs. This is one of them.

Yesterday, as I strolled down the high street, a woman approaching in the opposite direction threw her arms up in delight and cooed "oooh how cute". At first I thought this was a slightly bizarre complement directed at me, but then I remembered - as usual, I was wearing my baby.

Babywearing is the slightly odd label given to the practice of carrying your baby about your person, in a carrier such as a sling or wrap. Most people expect to see people in traditional, tribal cultures babywearing, but the practice is still regarded as a curiosity in Western society, despite a recent surge in the popularity of this and other "Attachment Parenting" methods.

Babywearing is reputed to have a number of benefits for baby and parent. Worn babies are said to be calmer, less colicky and more sociable. Studies have shown that close contact with mother helps a baby to regulate their temperature, breathing and heart rate, while the constant movement helps them develop balance and strength. None of this was responsible for my choice to babywear, as with most of my parenting choices, I do it because it is the option that is easiest and most pleasant for my children and I.

I have been "a babywearer" for almost three years now. I carried my eldest in a stretchy wrap from birth. After an emergency caesarean, I had difficulty getting him in and out of his pram, let alone pushing it; but with my baby wrapped snugly upon my chest I could carry him and barely feel the weight. People often asked if he was heavy to carry, but in reality he was easier to carry like this than when he was in my belly!

I have never had a problem with the weight of my children when I carry them, as they have grown I have grown stronger to accommodate them. I was still wearing my 15kg 2 year old at 38 weeks pregnant.

Carrying my babies when out and about has been remarkably liberating. Before having a baby, few able-bodied people consider how many steps, heavy doors and narrow pavements they encounter on a daily basis. With a baby in a pushchair, especially a larger pram or travel system, these become a serious obstacle, along with buses, small shops with close-set displays and soft ground. With my baby in a carrier I was free to go for a walk on the beach, to use the escalators in shopping centres rather than hunting down the lift (inevitably in the furthest corner) and navigate crowded streets with ease.

My babies have both loved being worn. Comforted by the movement and sounds of my body, made so familiar before their birth, but able to observe their new world from a safe vantage point. Both my boys have enjoyed smiling and chatting with the dozens of people who inevitably wish to engage with them on our travels, and both learned the trick of diving nose-first into my cleavage when the cheek-pinching became too much for them. I have spoken to a lot of parents who go to all kinds of lengths to get their babies to sleep, even going on unnecessary car journeys. My babies have always fallen asleep in the sling, all it takes is a short walk, or just pottering around the house, and they are happily snoozing.

With my baby firmly secured to my body, I retain the use of both hands. I can carry shopping, do housework, cook and eat with my baby safely snoozing or calmly watching me. Just last week my nine-month-old was having a "clingy" day as his next tooth chose to come through when I needed to prepare the house for a weekend of guests. For many mums this would have meant forsaking some chores, or leaving their baby without comfort. For a babywearing mum this isn't a problem. I grabbed the nearest wrap and wrapped him onto my back, where he snuggled and slept, leaving my hands free to make beds and prepare food.

I can feed in the sling too, baby hungry halfway around the supermarket? No problem, latch on in the sling, and carry on!

It's not just me that carries our babies. My husband was converted to babywearing as soon as he realised our black wrap made him look like a Samurai. Our children love his movement, warmth and the deep vibrations of his voice; I can leave the baby with him, or have some precious time alone at home while he goes out for a walk.

I don't just love babywearing, I can honestly say I don't know how I would parent without it.